Their Birthdays

My sister just showed me some pictures in her handphone, which made my heart a little sore at the core. They were from my brother, taken at home using his camera handphone during the small birthday celebrations of my mom’s and dad’s. They were a bit blurry due to low resolution of the camera handphone, but still, a picture speaks a thousand words…

In all the pictures, it was obvious that my dad is having problem with his eyes. He wasn’t looking at the camera handphone at all. Just a smile in each of the pictures. Well, according to him, his left eye is still okay but things are very blurry in his right eye. And to prevent further strain on his right eye, he shuts it most of the time, seeing the world with his left eye only now. From experience, I know that that can be quite uncomfortable as well.

He doesn’t drive anymore, but he still works. Because we children who are already working are still not able to support the family. The story is long and I don’t see the need to explain it here.

Nowadays, he only goes to work on working days and church on Sundays. He used to join some movements in church and also held some positions in some associations back when there was no problem with his eyesight. I guess he has pulled out from all of them since. And he had lost quite a bit of weight too. All of a sudden, he became so fragile…

I wish I was there to celebrate their birthdays, my mom and dad, as well. I didn’t have a thought about it at all until I saw those pictures, and now regret is tugging at my heart and I wonder whether there’s chance to make up for it… whether I’ll waste the chance again…

We celebrate our birthdays according to the Chinese lunar calendar at home. My mom said it is for us to remember our lunar birthdays and after all, friends would be celebrating our birthdays according to the Gregorian calendar. Not really, but I attribute that to my lack of good social skills. Doesn’t matter anyway.

I actually forgot their birthdays. I had to have my cousin sister to remind me. Shame on me.

From the pictures, my guess is that my siblings surprised dad with a birthday cake. And I was surprised that my dad actually agreed to take pictures in clothes that are not so, uh, presentable, something he had always stressed on. There was once when I insisted to take a picture with him, but he simply refused, dodged and ran away. No kidding. And I think he was actually amused with all the dodging and running away, even though I was a bit upset.

Don’t do that with your kids, it’s not good for your relationship.

And for my mom’s birthday, now that’s quite a bit of a story to tell, as if carefully arranged by God, too many coincidences to be a coincidence… I’ll leave it for another entry.

… … …

I feel much better now. I don’t know why I cry everytime I think deeply about my dad.

Pray and hope that I won’t take things for granted again and again… and again.